Living Loving Learning

Dear Mother-in-Law

In Family on Tuesday, May 5, 2009 at 5:21 pm

We are so blessed to have Jon, Brad, Alexander, and soon, Abbi (May 29, 2009) and Cody (July 31, 2009) as our sons- and daughter-in-love. 

There is just no greater joy in a parent’s life than knowing that someone else loves your own children as much as you do.

And that means that I am mother-in-law to three and soon FIVE lucky exceptional people who love my own children. 


Now, most of us have or have had mother-in-laws.  Unfortunately, and usually for very good reason, the term doesn’t bring great feelings of endearment. 


And I don’t ever want to be one of “those”. 


So, today, I’m asking for your advice.


If you could tell your mother-in-law any piece of advice on how to relate to you what would you say?


(There is a qualification to leaving your comment.  It must be positively stated. We don’t want you to go hating on your mother-in-law, now, do we? 😉 


  1. Hi Robin,

    Really enjoying your blog, and I’ve placed it in my favorites.

    I’d tell my mother-in-law to continue to be the loving, funny, animated, interesting and interested (without being intrusively so) mother-in-law she’s been for so many years. 🙂

    Obviously, I’ve been blessed. I have a feeling your soon-to-be family additions will be as well.

  2. My husband would say “Thanks” to my parents for being there but not being there with advice. In fact, he has said “I wish your dad would give me an answer when I ask his opinion” – I tell him to ask again and it works out fine 🙂

    And I would say thanks for telling me what a good job I am doing raising their grandkids 🙂 It means a lot because sometimes we are too close to see how great our forest really is!

  3. Gosh I can not imagine you a bad mother-in-law! I am blessed with a great one myself. My mother passed away many years ago. My mother-in-law relates to me by taking an interest in my interests and offer advice on on life without being intrusive. I know I can count on her to see me as her own.

  4. I would want a mother-in-law to kindly listen to me when i speak and to please be intrested in me when i do. Maybe ask question more about me – even if it is topics that she does not care about, and maybe hang out and do the things that i like. i guess be like a mom… those are just my thoughts…

  5. Oh Robin!!! Hmmm! I think you already know what I would say. 😉

    To be encouraging. To be our family’s loudest cheering fan. To understand that sometimes we are just really really overwhelmed. It’s not personal if we don’t call or forget something important. It doesn’t mean we don’t love you with all our heart…, we are just very full in life! We love spending holidays with you but sometimes we just want our family time. Again, not personal, we just want to make some of our own traditions. To not take things like this as personal rejection.

    Please do not be critical as to how we raise our children. Even if you don’t agree. Trust that we hear the Lord for our lives. Trust that your prayers are heard by God for us!

    I put that as positively as I could…I hope it is positive enough!! 🙂

    Love you!

  6. I was blessed with a great mother in law. I have missed her for the last 3 years. She raised a wonderful son and I have been reaping the benefits of all her work. 🙂

    There was really only one thing that she did that upset me…She took my son for his first haircut without asking us if she could. She didn’t even save any of his curls.

    So that would be my only advice… If you are going to get your grandkids haircut at least save some of the curls. 🙂

    You are amazing…..They are blessed to have you and Dirk. Love you both!

  7. Gosh, I can’t say a negative thing about her.


    Yeah, I’m one of those “lucky” ones.

  8. Don’t go snooping through the bedroom especially when the door is closed. Don’t buy DVDs for the infant especially if the parents asked you not to. Don’t call during vacations “just to see how we are.” Don’t bring all of your friends over to see the grandchild especially if the parents don’t know who the friends are. Don’t show the DIL’d wedding dress to the insect exterminator lady!

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