Living Loving Learning

What Do You Think?…..continued

In Uncategorized on Friday, November 7, 2008 at 10:16 am

From yesterday’s post here’s the breakdown of the reasons why most people get their feelings hurt: (THANK YOU to those who took the time to leave a comment!)

 

Past offenses and hurts, rejections

Pride, insecurity, fear

Self, ego, self-centeredness

Not  believing God—allowing the situation to become bigger than God—not being anchored in Truth

Believing lies

Taking things personally

Expectations – when we expect more than the offender gives or can give

Allowing our feelings to control us

 

 

 

 
Now let’s focus on one of these in particular…..expectations. 
And another question:

 

It’s been said that the only way to never be disappointed or have your feelings hurt, is to have no expectations.  Do you think it is even possible to have no expectations of others?    

What do you think?

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Robin

 

 

 

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  1. I think when we have NO expectations we almost get cynical… by having no expectations maybe that’s the same as expecting someone to hurt us eventually… so we prepare ourselves for it from not expecting more from them.

    I think it’s fine to have expectations and standards for those close to you… the old Dr. Seuss quote “Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”… if they hurt you and you care about them, if they are close enough for you to have expectations of them you should be able to approach them about it.

    Others that you haven’t quite established those expectations or standards with maybe should get a honeymoon period… so you can “feel them out.” Try and figure out how they interpret things, what they might mean when they say things…

    Just something I’ve been working on!

  2. Does hope have anything to do with expectations? Are expectations wrong if they are anchored in truth? If they are not then is the result irrational feeling?

    Thanks for making me think!

  3. too early in the morning to wrap my head around. but i’ll try i learned ato not lay huge expectations on Mike- i try really hard not to but sometimes i still do. as with other people i am learning to just let them be – and always try to point to Jesus and the word and to me that is all i can do.
    Lately i am just trying not to think of a person in a certain way – and just let that person show me who they are..

  4. We cannot say we are in relationship with someone and not have expectations on them. I do not have expectations on those I am not relationship with. But, I certainly do on those that I am.

    I expect my husband to be faithful.
    I expect my friends to be there when the rubber meets the road.

    What’s the point in Godly relationships when we have no expectations…..accountability with one another?

  5. I don’t think it’s possible to have absolutely no expectations of others.

    I think it’s simply a matter of whether or not they are realistic… especially when it comes to people.

    In relationships, we should expect that we are going to fail each other miserably at times. But we shoul let these unmet expectations be a chance to show each other unconditional love.

    We’ve blown EVERY expectation with God, yet He loves us in Christ. Hallelujah.

  6. You can have expectations… just don’t over-personalize things and take yourself or others too seriously!

  7. My response was just somehow wiped out by the fingers of fury from Kid Three… so let me just say I agree with Dusty and Mike.

    …easier than retyping my whole novel of a comment…

  8. Have expectations – but realize that God can only truly satisfy us and only he is perfect…the people we love are going to hurt our feelings…just like we will hurt theirs!

  9. I don’t think it is possible to not have any expectations, but I think you can keep them in perspective. You know, don’t look to someone else to fulfill every need you have, they just can’t. They will let you down, and you will let them down.

  10. It’s early and this is just off the top of my head. But my guess is that it’s not possible to have no expectations of people. As much as you say you live that way, you still have them. The real question is whether you are able to extend grace when that person does not live up to what you expect them to do.

  11. All Relationships have expectations from both sides. I have my expectations from you and you have your expectations from me. Now we just need to see if our expectations align with eachother.

    I may want to have lunch with you every Wednesday. You may want to get together only on the 3rd Wednesday of the month because you are busy.

    So if we meet that 3rd Wednesday both of our expectations are being met that day. Every other Wednesday your expectaions are met because you got all you requested of the relationship covered. My expectations on the other hand have not been met. Therefore I am giving you the power over my feelings. And you just hurt them.

    Not really though because you give so much. 🙂

  12. hmmm, i find that i have expectations, but mine are usually pretty realistic…i think. i know which friend i can count on for what, whether to ask mom or dad (haha, jk), etc. 🙂

  13. I have expectations of certain people in my life—-my family for sure. I try to align those expectations with His word. Thourghout the bible the Lord clearly outlines His expectations for us. We are created in His image—therefore I think in that aspect it is normal/healthy for us to have expectations of one another. However, if not checked by the Spirit expectations can become chains. Our hearts need to be in an attitude of humility in all of our relationships.

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